Life as an old soul
You must have heard of them at least. If you did, you might have an idea what life feels like. But it never does show the details. So here I am, trying to put forward a few words whilst having my Sunday morning coffee. There is certain things you need to know:
#1 Party — what the hell is that?
It might surprise a lot, but party goes off the shelf a lot of times. In fact, I stopped partying pretty much during university (not after an accident though, although I had a bad one). And as funny as it sounds, dancing in your room with your Spotify is probably even more exciting than clubbing. I’m struggling with little house parties too (maybe because I am an introvert and an INFJ), but not because I don’t like spending time with my besties, it’s just different priorities.
#2 Being good is okay, being too good is not okay
I have learnt this the hard way. When I was a kid, I tried to be the best to help others, and that carried until pretty much my 20s. Don’t get me wrong, my mother saved my life and I tried to help her out too, but there is a difference between helping and maintaining someone’s life because, I will just put it straight, for whatever reason cannot be bothered to work or sort their own life out. As much as it hurts you, if you’re attached for too long, you will just see. Same happened in my relationship, but for different reasons. Same pattern continued though. Behind illusions filled by excuses there is just lack of drive, and if you’re not pushing yourself, who will? The chances are very slim, and even, if you don’t learn, you just lose. That’s it.
#3 Unique and weird version of unique
This one is difficult to explain, but these days people belong to niches and groups. Be it your interests, purpose, different reasons. Everybody has theirs, but there is always the vibe to join something and pitch in with whatever the folks in that group are doing. With me, I am a massive fan of motorsport, fitness and books ( for some reason I am reading a lot of psychology books lately). With the first two, I have joined a track marshalling club, and gym. The odds of having people interested in either is quite okay, but interested in both — to be fair havent’t met a track marshal who constitently put hours in the gym yet — racing drivers do, but they have a reason for it. It did pay off though in a better job as someone saw my commitment. Gym wise, people have reasons like football, better lifestyle, practicality etc. I have never met though someone who loves cars and works out, for some reason that combination just does not seem to exist.
#4 Can you enjoy life?
Okay, this one is probably the one to answer for yourself, but there are a few things that I have to point out.
Yes, you can but:
- people will not come around and clap for what you’re doing
- be prepared to fight your battles alone, and I mean it
- you have to embrace who you are in every single aspect of your life
The reasons I want to point these out are a few. First of all, people will not understand you. Whether you are the beginning, in the middle, or at the end. For a lot of people, whatever you’re doing, rarely makes sense (if it ever does). And yes, you guessed it right. That doesn’t come with a lot of friends package (there is a way, but you cannot go to deep with anyone, try once and you’ll know why), and same for relationship. Oh boy oh boy, a lot of counterparts will not understand you ( you will either want to protect yourself or be not understood, or both) and you have to acknowledge that. It all comes to a point where you have to embrace being by yourself.
I have not understood this until certain part of my life, where I felt drained, suicidal and was out of resources. We want to be understood, but who ever does? Sometimes it’s better to hide in the cave, and come out only when you need to. Besides, it’s fun if you understand who you are.
